About Miles

Wuff! My name is Miles and I’m a dog. You probably already guessed that because of my picture. Apparently I’m cute, at least that’s what all the ladies say. I believe ’em.

I like running. Actually, I really like running. Run Master A says it’s in my blood. Whatever. I don’t know what he’s talking about most of the time because we speak different languages. But Run Master A (RMA) and me, well, we both speak fluent running.

It turns out I’m a good runner, at least compared to RMA, he totally sucks at running. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard him say “wait for me!”, followed by a quick tug on my leash. (By the way, I hate that f****** leash.) But slow or not (he’s slow), he’s good to me and I love him.

I have a bit of a foul mouth. Humans seem to find that odd. Whatever. You don’t know s*** about dogs. We’re not all the same. In my defense, I did learn most of the words from RMA. You teach, I learn. Don’t judge.

Yours truly

My den

My den is located in Portland, Oregon, where I live with my adopted family. Our den is in a quiet neighborhood, on a dead end street, in a cute part of town. We have a cool yard, I have my own little den inside the big den, and we have air conditioning. Hell. Yes. There are six of us.

My Pack

Run Master A, he’s my master. RMA saved me from a cold cell in a big room and I’ll never forget that. He teaches me stuff, brushes me, runs with me, feeds me, gives me water, and laughs at me when I play. RMA is my buddy. Sometimes I chew his s*** up just to f*** with him.

At night time a woman with beautiful blue eyes, a gentle face, and big heart sleeps next to RMA. Lucky bitch. I really love Blue Eyes, and she really loves me, too. She’s always cooking food in the morning and I love stealing it when she’s not looking. Blue Eyes takes me for walks, feeds me, gives me baths, and let’s me sit on her lap when she watches the news. Everyone loves Blue Eyes.

There’s a little boy in our pack that I call Game Boy. He loves to play video games, which apparently he only gets to do if he does well in school. I think he must be smart because Game Boy gets to play video games quite often. Game Boy has funny teeth, mostly because he has more metal in his mouth than teeth. He’s sweet to me, sometimes he runs with us, he always says goodbye when he leaves, and he plays ball with me. Great kid. Factoid: Game Boy was the pack member who chose my name.

Sunshine, that’s what I call the youngest member of our pack. She is an adorable, beautiful, funny, emotional little lady. She looks like a miniature version of Blue Eyes and, like her mom, everyone loves her. Sunshine spends lots of time at the big table with paper, pencils, pens, paint, and other odd-smelling things. She’s super nice to me, likes to walk with me, is surprisingly tough, and always opens the door to my little den. She’s funny.

That leaves one more member of the pack… Jax.

Jax is a cat. He’s quick, hot and cold, can jump like LeBron on steroids, and evades capture like Houdini. He has this way of sauntering around that, well, pisses me off. I swear I could catch that little bastard if they took the gate down to the big bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, we are friends, or perhaps more like close acquaintances, but he’s weird. One minute we’re playing, then he suddenly walks off, then I’m sleeping and he attacks my tail, and then I think we’re playing, and then he walks off again, and then… you get the picture. I think he’s psychotic, but the humans like him, especially Game Boy, and he’s a member of the pack, so I can’t eat him.

There you have it. That’s my life.

Wuff.